Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need to align my fucking chakras
A bitchslap is in order.
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