if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize