What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
