It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
