Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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