babies were throwing up all over the place
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
