Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
