So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
