That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
