I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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