he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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