you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
