went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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