Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
