Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
