I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize