I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
