The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
