i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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