I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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