Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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