Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
