Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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