I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
