i just had sex bonerless
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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