Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
