even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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