either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
