I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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