ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
