okay pat passed out under dana's car
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
