we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
