like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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