I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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