we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
