I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's get the cat blown out
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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