who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
