didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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