Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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