I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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