We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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