Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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