do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
