whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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