did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
