i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize