dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
