no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize