You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
These tits shall not be calmed
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
