I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
