I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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