She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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