I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize