I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize