My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Michael Bay diarrhea
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
