you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
