it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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