im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
