Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
