Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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