Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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