Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
