it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
