I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
