how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
