I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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